tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7382857806954751702024-03-13T13:08:47.749-07:00The Girl's (or Boy's) Guide to Dating A Boy ScoutUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-55830549084259468922016-08-13T16:38:00.001-07:002016-08-13T16:38:05.460-07:00The Boy Scout Answers to Life, the Universe, and EverythingMe: If four cars get to the intersection at the same time and you go first, does the person to right go next?<div><br><div>Him: It doesn't matter, if four cars arrive at the intersection at the same time the universe will explode. </div><div><br></div><div>I have serious life questions! Why does he refuse to answer?!</div></div>Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-2165861639821494232016-08-10T21:18:00.001-07:002016-08-13T16:39:24.958-07:00Dad Jokes<div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Being married to a Scout has its perks. Dad jokes for days...</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Me: it's a maxi dress</span></div><div>Him: what's a maxi dress?</div><div>Me: a dress that goes to the floor</div><div>Him: is that the MAXI-mum length before its just a bolt of fabric?</div><div><br></div><div>Good one. 🙄</div>Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-61836047581169911762016-04-22T14:17:00.001-07:002016-04-22T14:21:46.157-07:00You Had One Job<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This Boy Scout was supposed to lock the door and get in the car. He saw a cat, and decided he needed to chase it down the street instead.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">That's cool. I'll just wait here with the car running. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKqtGbx2KR2NQwNZP_3E6c0ePDVToCwGowVXXMUCIP2brJwF6ioDXGddSY5kBlx1jlxjQqtr8gmPqpikkFGO1kVDa1pRgsIrqL-2_VfsWKLj59TyRt4KXpMwo5e-cPzmkeW53FNzW3kKQ/s640/blogger-image--1603913145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKqtGbx2KR2NQwNZP_3E6c0ePDVToCwGowVXXMUCIP2brJwF6ioDXGddSY5kBlx1jlxjQqtr8gmPqpikkFGO1kVDa1pRgsIrqL-2_VfsWKLj59TyRt4KXpMwo5e-cPzmkeW53FNzW3kKQ/s640/blogger-image--1603913145.jpg"></a></div>Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-72130549058124745392014-08-21T18:20:00.004-07:002016-09-24T23:22:08.210-07:00Cooking Merit Badge RevokedIf this man lived alone his fridge would consist of beer, old pizza, and cold bean and cheese burritos. For his own survival, I tried to teach him to at least make eggs and toast. The toast didn't make it. I'm not really sure where I went wrong, it seemed pretty fail safe. Guess not.<div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE8In1VaPmTVUr69mM-KGlDtAZmf2TpEa7rTBApWVaEpYEzMywE9zi305XozRZumx3cRHIW9eVJ-VG8KsywYkzmvn3FZvbQQDpgEqgjGcuxJSxDq0HTBcXeyjWDTQFvNOfY4-2NGagGCg/s640/blogger-image--1303215572.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE8In1VaPmTVUr69mM-KGlDtAZmf2TpEa7rTBApWVaEpYEzMywE9zi305XozRZumx3cRHIW9eVJ-VG8KsywYkzmvn3FZvbQQDpgEqgjGcuxJSxDq0HTBcXeyjWDTQFvNOfY4-2NGagGCg/s640/blogger-image--1303215572.jpg"></a></div><br>
<br>
By the time I get home most days, he has almost starved to death because "there was nothing to eat". I've determined this means there was nothing to microwave.<br>
<br>
So be warned, he might have a fancy badge that would suggest he learned something, but in reality he probably just hung out with his friends for a few hours, at the end of which an adult handed out badges for "learning to cook". </div>Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-40374231387769654492014-08-12T22:23:00.001-07:002016-09-24T23:42:19.236-07:00The Strongest BondToday we attended a wedding where every other person was a former Scout, current Scout leader, a Scout mom, you get the idea. <div><br></div><div>We were just recently engaged, so that was a frequent topic of conversation. My fiancé had a special band made for my engagement ring. It has a square knot in the band and when he proposed, he said that, like our relationship, it's the strongest bond. </div><div><br></div><div>Aw, so sweet. Right?</div><div><br></div><div>The fellow Scout response to this story? "It's <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">also the easiest knot to untie!"</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Cool, thanks. Where's the bar?</font></div>Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-24610613728687108612014-08-09T20:01:00.000-07:002014-08-09T20:01:01.399-07:00The Struggle is RealThis Boy Scout's mom will not be pleased.<br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWZXDMzZYGD_iV6dGvzKdGeh3DnwUTTAftxe7ygrINbZYj0msrWc0SsPQYy57bAK8491QLvinh5oF6Duky7fidvMUBfw1QoasphiVsbni62nZylMy1eK7d0HSsKCUER0z0s2sj0dZgNvI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-08-09+at+7.35.09+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWZXDMzZYGD_iV6dGvzKdGeh3DnwUTTAftxe7ygrINbZYj0msrWc0SsPQYy57bAK8491QLvinh5oF6Duky7fidvMUBfw1QoasphiVsbni62nZylMy1eK7d0HSsKCUER0z0s2sj0dZgNvI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-08-09+at+7.35.09+PM.png" height="320" width="178" /></a></div>
<br />Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-89993738812569058592014-05-21T16:17:00.001-07:002014-05-21T16:44:59.468-07:00The BSA Crashed My EngagementI recently got engaged to Boy Scout. I should clarify-a former Boy Scout and grown man. Anyway, he proposed, with a gorgeous ring, inside a small box with a Fleur de Lis, in Boy Scout green.<br />
<br />
Dear BSA, you couldn't stay away from my engagement day, could you!Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-30370817599035763402011-03-31T20:45:00.000-07:002011-03-31T20:53:22.294-07:00Warn Your Family, and Up Your Minutes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAWIqLwCiPPY4zkdheNbRpwl_bmbOzNBWcSO7eKooNrpaoUWMw09QunXvFHPtxbks94Zp-QZiMIWeminWjMA8Yf9h_7RBhyphenhyphen5EreE22tH0WnhKnJlQUHWt8E3PJd0zkeeGENym6BfWYT_MO/s1600/mom+phone1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAWIqLwCiPPY4zkdheNbRpwl_bmbOzNBWcSO7eKooNrpaoUWMw09QunXvFHPtxbks94Zp-QZiMIWeminWjMA8Yf9h_7RBhyphenhyphen5EreE22tH0WnhKnJlQUHWt8E3PJd0zkeeGENym6BfWYT_MO/s320/mom+phone1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590457633198580466" /></a><br /><p style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">We had only been going out for a couple of weeks and for Valentine's day decided to drive down to Hunington Beach. We had dinner at Ruby's and then were sitting on the beach, it had to be around 9:00pm when my phone starting ringing. It was his mom. We ignored it. For 10 minutes my phone was blowing up! We ignored it. Then all of a sudden I notice a new number appeared on my phone....it was MY MOMS NUMBER. I couldn't ignore this one so picked up the phone as my mother proceeded to scream at me not because I was out late on a school night or anything normal, but because this boy scouts mother called my mom freaking out that we were in Huntington Beach.</span></p><p style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">So as I get yelled at, we have to rush home and I get grounded for the weekend. His mom does nothing, doesn't even yell at him when he gets home.</span></p><p style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;">My mom's question, "Are you planning on being with this guy for a while or can I tell her off?" I should have let my mom tell her off.</span></p><p style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p>NDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13439698830690253801noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738285780695475170.post-63633758672475754802011-03-31T20:33:00.000-07:002015-03-27T19:11:18.476-07:00The Boy Scout Ten Essentials<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbf6wiQehtKfU9h_JAe3_znEvn8dLsfNmoEDXyMW7NCWQMHfxqMufim1SsQyj_lZLlIrmqRs4M9efU3v5cCLJ6LPicGRTVemIBZDFmgEkiHTql4twAa62Dfjk2-dQhUGjZRFBpjBlxyT4/s1600/boy-scout-front-cover398.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbf6wiQehtKfU9h_JAe3_znEvn8dLsfNmoEDXyMW7NCWQMHfxqMufim1SsQyj_lZLlIrmqRs4M9efU3v5cCLJ6LPicGRTVemIBZDFmgEkiHTql4twAa62Dfjk2-dQhUGjZRFBpjBlxyT4/s320/boy-scout-front-cover398.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590455773495734994" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 320px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 211px;"></a><br>
<style>@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }p.MsoListParagraph, li.MsoListParagraph, div.MsoListParagraph { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }p.MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst, li.MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst, div.MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }p.MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle, li.MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle, div.MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }p.MsoListParagraphCxSpLast, li.MsoListParagraphCxSpLast, div.MsoListParagraphCxSpLast { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }ol { margin-bottom: 0in; }ul { margin-bottom: 0in; }</style> <br>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every good Boy Scout knows there are ten essential things necessary to survive the wilderness:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Pocket knife</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>First-aid kit</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
3.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Extra clothing</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Flashlight</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Rain gear</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
6.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Water bottle</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
7.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Map and compass</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
8.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Matches</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
9.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Sun protection</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
10.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Trail food</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every good Boy Scout’s girlfriend should know there are ten essential things necessary to survive a Boy Scout.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. Patience</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you don’t have this, turn back now. The beauty of the Boy Scout organization is that it teaches young men to have an absolute appreciation and hunger for learning. There are over 100 skills a Boy Scout can potentially earn a badge for. The inherent downfall-a mixture of mass accumulation of random knowledge and the desire to pass down these treasure troves of information. Learning to “whip rope” was never something I aimed to cross off my bucket list, I guess I can now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. Tactfulness</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Learning to say “what the fuck are you doing with PVC pipe, baking soda, and super glue", with love, is a delicate skill to possess. Teaching a child that anything is possible seems so inspiring, until that child is twenty-seven and prepping for a real rocket launch just outside your house.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. A “Moms Love Me” T-shirt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Boy Scout’s mother will require a dedicated chapter. However, it can be said that dating an Eagle Scout magnifies the intensity of this relationship ten-fold. She has poured her very being into making him everything he is today. The sooner you realize you are only there to rip the light from her life, the sooner you will understand how to manage this relationship. The Boy Scout does no wrong and she has raised him well. That is all you need to know to survive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. God-like organizational abilities</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have you ever heard the saying “like herding cats”? Get familiar with it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. Adaptability</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only plan there is, is that there is no plan. The Boy Scout is a free spirit and goes where the wind takes him. The ability to keep track of time has been severely compromised, we think, by the Scouting program. We’re still trying to pin point where they’re going wrong with these kids.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. The sense of humor of a 12 year-old boy</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is much to be learned from the Boy Scout organization. Profanity and immature jokes are high on the list. Put fifteen boys in a campsite together and you’ll probably hear things more vulgar than if you were sitting at a poker table, drinking beer, and smoking cigars with grown men. Maybe as they get older they get better at sheltering our delicate lady ears from this type of conversation. In any case, if there were a badge for learning to “flip the bird” every Boy Scout would be wearing it proudly by age seven.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
7. Trash bags and soap</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A Scout is Clean? Maybe this isn't a trait inherent of the male population in general and without us they would live happily in their own filth. However, Boy Scouts are supposed to live by a set of laws intended to make them better people. Proposed rules to add to the Scout Law: A Scout keeps, at minimum, a fire exit strategy through the junk accumulation in the house or a Scout cleans his bed sheets more frequently than every six months. After all, cleanliness is next to Godliness and Godliness is also a Boy Scout Law.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
8. An extra set of wine glasses</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe it’s the years of being forced into various social situations, or all the random knowledge they obtain, that gives them the ability to talk to anyone about anything, but Boy Scouts have an impressive knack for befriending total strangers. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just be ready to have extra people to dinner occasionally.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9. GPS Phone Tracking</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On your Boy Scout’s phone of course, not yours. Because at some point he will go missing and his mother will call you relentlessly-remember you are the murderer of happiness in her world, it must be your fault.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10. The Boy Scout 10 Essentials</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because your Boy Scout will forget them. That is all. </div>
Lord Baden-Powellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241827435141543720noreply@blogger.com3