The Boy Scout Answers to Life, the Universe, and Everything

Me: If four cars get to the intersection at the same time and you go first, does the person to right go next?

Him: It doesn't matter, if four cars arrive at the intersection at the same time the universe will explode. 

I have serious life questions! Why does he refuse to answer?!

Dad Jokes

Being married to a Scout has its perks. Dad jokes for days...

Me: it's a maxi dress

Him: what's a maxi dress?

Me: a dress that goes to the floor

Him: is that the MAXI-mum length before its just a bolt of fabric?

Good one. 🙄

You Had One Job

This Boy Scout was supposed to lock the door and get in the car. He saw a cat, and decided he needed to chase it down the street instead.

That's cool. I'll just wait here with the car running. 

Cooking Merit Badge Revoked

If this man lived alone his fridge would consist of beer, old pizza, and cold bean and cheese burritos. For his own survival, I tried to teach him to at least make eggs and toast.  The toast didn't make it. I'm not really sure where I went wrong, it seemed pretty fail safe. Guess not.

By the time I get home most days, he has almost starved to death because "there was nothing to eat". I've determined this means there was nothing to microwave.

So be warned, he might have a fancy badge that would suggest he learned something, but in reality he probably just hung out with his friends for a few hours, at the end of which an adult handed out badges for "learning to cook".

The Strongest Bond

Today we attended a wedding where every other person was a former Scout, current Scout leader, a Scout mom, you get the idea.  

We were just recently engaged, so that was a frequent topic of conversation. My fiancé had a special band made for my engagement ring. It has a square knot in the band and when he proposed, he said that, like our relationship, it's the strongest bond. 

Aw, so sweet. Right?

The fellow Scout response to this story? "It's also the easiest knot to untie!"

Cool, thanks. Where's the bar?

The Struggle is Real

This Boy Scout's mom will not be pleased.

The BSA Crashed My Engagement

I recently got engaged to Boy Scout. I should clarify-a former Boy Scout and grown man. Anyway, he proposed, with a gorgeous ring, inside a small box with a Fleur de Lis, in Boy Scout green.

Dear BSA, you couldn't stay away from my engagement day, could you!